The Mogwai Way

I must admit that I haven't been riding the bus as much as I would have liked lately. Frankly, it was getting pretty hot back in the Spring, and I just assumed that it would be a literal hell riding it in the middle of a hot, Houston summer. I discovered that was not the case this morning.

You see, boys and girls, the sun doesn't get all that high the morning hours here in the summertime. Nope, it takes its sweet ass time rising up in the sky, spending more of its daylight hours in the afternoon sky. Makes a lot of sense when you think about it. So while the mornings are still a bit on the sticky side, they're actually a bit cooler than the spring time.

Well, not exactly, but I have to say that I really appreciate the lives of vampires and mogwais in the summers in Houston. You see, it's not about the heat, it's about the sunlight, and avoiding it as much as you can. I've been tempted, tempted not convinced mind you, to start popping out my trusty umbrella-ella-ella here in the afternoons. Yes, in the blinding sun. The shade, if you have a good breeze, is pretty bearable even in the hottest Houston summer days. Unfortunately, I don't have the testicular fortitude to brave the streets using an umbrella for shade. I mean, the only people I see doing that are very elderly ladies; it doesn't appear to be the pasttime of a good man-about-town.

The other thing about mogwais, you aren't supposed to feed them after midnight. When I consider that fact, I realize Houston isn't all that much different. I mean, House of Pies and Katz's are fine, but let's be honest, the food there only tastes good when you're drunk of your ass. I know there is a semi-burgeoning late-night eats industry developing here in Houston, and I would REALLY love to scope it out for you, but I can't find myself capable of eating after 10:00, much less 12:00. At least, I won't go it alone, and I don't find myself in the company of the people of the night like I used to; most of my crew are quite content calling it a night sometime between 10:00 and 11:00, and are in full conversation with the Sandman by the time the clock strikes twelve.

I was intending to write about my latest culinary happy hour adventure this evening, but I think I am going to have to keep this little secret to myself. It's not everyday that you find a place you can relax in, with good people, great (free) food, and spectacular drinks. I will say that I was quite delighted to discover that chickpeas make some pretty amazing french fries, and that one can never truly know Houston. I don't think you're supposed to know great cities, they are supposed to change on you, surprise you and fill you will joy every day that you wake up in them. I will say that I truly believe one of the main reasons that people don't care more for this city, is that they don't take the time to look at it. I mean, it's pretty hard to see a place that whizzes by at 60+ mph. Believe me, (I don't mean to brag) but I am a pretty damn good driver, and I have seen the difference through the window of a METRO bus.

After one day of riding the bus and rail, I feel closer to this city than I ever imagined. It's not quite a spiritual experience, rather an intense fondness for what's around me. It's really a cool feeling, and I HIGHLY recommend you try it sometime. Don't give me, "It's too ho-ot!" It's Houston dummy, it's going to be effing hot! But I gotta tell you, when I was standing at the corner of Dallas and Main in Downtown this evening, sweating my balls off . . .

(SIDEBAR: Okay so yeah, it's not so bad in the mornings because of the whole tilt of the earth's axis and daylight savings and all that jazz, but at night when all you have is some intense humidity that didn't get slighted by a good thunderstorm or cool by a good breeze, the term sweating your balls off becomes an etheral experience.)

it felt GOOD! Sweating is good, Mehmet Oz told me so in the July issue of Esquire. I trust ol' Dr. Oz, he treats Oprah! Seriously, it's summer in Houston, you're gonna sweat, you might as well OWN it! I'm not saying it's a good idea to be a stinky mess all day. I certainly wasn't, even when I got home. Yes, I took a shower once I got home, but that was because it did get a bit bad on the way home. But that is the point, I was going home, who freakin' cares how I look or even smell. (seriously, I didn't reek people!) You just gotta go the mogwai way, which in Houston, ain't a bad thing. Well, except for that whole thing about water, I love me some pool time in the summer. Thankfully (for some), I don't mulitply in water. Wow, wouldn't that be something?